This was a special year because they were in the process of tearing down that old water tower to build a new, more modern one and it didn’t look like the new one was going to have the kind of platform that you could piss off of, because this is no longer a world of men.Īnyway, it’s two in the morning and we’re taking turns pissing off of the tower (rather than going at the same time, because we weren’t raised by wolves). This had been John’s tradition for the last twenty years (if you do the math, you’ll realize that goes back to when he turned five, which really says more about John’s parents than John). At the end of the night we were good and drunk and we headed outside of town to go climb up the water tower and piss off of it. My friend John and I were out celebrating his birthday last summer. Note: I apologize for the harsh language above, you’ll find that is not typical of me. Go find the address yourself, you bunch of greedy fartsouls. Please note that all correspondence regarding the class action lawsuit resulting from the publication of that book should be directed to the publisher’s legal department, not me. If you do know who I am, presumably because you read the previous book, I know what you’re thinking and in response I can only say, “No, fuck you.” Stop sending me hate mail. So, hello, stranger! I’m pleased to have this fresh opportunity to try to convince you I’m not a shithead. That means you didn’t read the previous book in this saga which, to be frank, doesn’t paint me in the best light. If you don’t know who I am, that’s perfect. I guess I should explain that a little further, but it will take a while.
You know how sometimes when you’re drifting off to sleep you feel that jolt, like you were falling and caught yourself at the last second? It’s nothing to be concerned about, it’s usually just the parasite adjusting its grip. THE FOLLOWING ACCOUNT CONTAINS FRANK DESCRIPTIONS OF MONSTERS AND MALE NUDITY. When questioned about the incident later at another stop, Hillary became somewhat angry and stated “What difference does it make?”.īaring any other unforeseen medical or alcohol induced incidents, The fart filled Scooby Doo van will reach Iowa by tomorrow where Hillary is scheduled to talk to “Normal People” without any press in attendance.Ī Clintoon spokesman said the van will be “decontaminated” at that time.For Carley, who was a better person than I am even though she was a dog A total of 66 people were hospitalized in serious to stable condition, including three firemen who opened the van door.Īpproximately two hours later the Clintoon team loaded back up in the van and resumed the road trip. Once the ventilation began, several prole on a nearby street reportedly became ill and began to vomit and pass out. Reporters on scene also stated that Hillary bought a fruit juice and the combination of the two forced the short term abandonment of her Scooby Doo Van due to excessive amounts of methane, that caused vision problems and burning and irritation to the eyes of the other passengers.Ī local fire department Hazmat team was called out to ventilate the van with several large fans. This just in to the IHTM newsroom, Presidential candidate and older angry women, Hillary Clintoon reportedly bought a Burrito at a Chipotle Restaurant yesterday and ate it in the car.